I’ll be honest I want to play Saints Row: The Third. Let me tell you why.
Now I heard about Saints Row 2 a while back when Yahtzee of Zero Punctuation fame was doing his end of the year reviews and commented on just how straight up fun the game was. And this wasn’t Yahtzee during his more even handed days. No this was the Yahtzee we know and don’t really care for where everything sucks and you suck for liking it. And yet he loved this game. You can check it out here.
So I asked why and it nagged at me. From what my associates closer to the product then I had come to say of it was that it was just a dumb game for wiggers looking to try their hands at the thug life. You remember that term, don’t you internet? Bringing it back.
So I stepped away, called it a day, hooked up my thumbs and said “Eyyyyyy!”
Anyway… fast forward to ConBravo 2011 where I got to meet Doug Walker also known as That Guy With the Glasses. Anyway we 404s have a tradition of asking con staff to pass along an open invitation to any other guests that want to join in on our shenanigans and apparently the good sir Walker did indeed.
I swear to god I’m getting back to Saints Row just give me a minute.
So we got to meet, watch the Room together, (I also ended up consensually stalking the Ninja With A Soul Patch and his crew but that’s another story) and found him to be a legitimately funny fellow. So much that I’ve taken to watching his videos now.
At that time the advertisement that played before his videos was a pre-order bonus for a game. The bonus included a car that ate people and fired them out of a cannon, a bazooka that fired octopus and lastly a suit that punched the disco age in the genitals. (You can see an extended version of the trailer I saw here.) So there I was asking what game in this age of super realism in gaming would have such weapons? I’d play this game! I’d play it hard.
And the answer was Saints Row The Third.
So fast forward to now with me at my new job and I get a chance to see one of the trailers where I see the main character engaging a person called Killbane part time gangster, part time pro wrestler. And yes, you wrestle him in a real ring.
So, I admit it, my curiosity goes up a few notches. This sure as hell doesn’t sound like the kind of game I’d hate. It reminds me of GTA 1 back in the day only fully realized.
So finally I start checking out footage for the game and watching walkthroughs.
And in short, I want to play this game.
I want to play a game that lets me parachute off of a roof to simply seal a car. I want to launch a boat onto a barge over enemy thugs heads only to land right next to the rescue point. I want the 8-bit tank, mega buster, rocket motorcycle and yes the dildo baseball bat.
Why? Because for all of the games are art arguments that the critics for the industry try and fight to make it grow, for all of the beautiful and deep games like Shadow of the Colossus and Heavy Rain it’s great to just saddle up with one that says “Come on buddy! Let’s get naked and run down main street with a rocket launcher!”
And so too does this work exist.