I wish this article didn’t suggest as much as it did. As a lot of you know now, PETA protested the use of the Tanuki Suit in Super Mario 3d Land for the 3DS. This was an announcement that came accompanied with a game released by PETA about a hypothetical Tanuki hunting Mario down to get his skin back. As I’ve come to understand it the entire game is poorly designed and rather horrible in a visual sense. Thus far I’ve only heard of one player actually beating it “out of spite” though I’m not sure how that works.
The problem is that I can recall a time where PETA was that organization that strove for a higher goal, to petition for animals in the wild that could not defend themselves. Who were being hunted to the point of extinction due to a lack of awareness by First World countries.
These were creatures that held a vital part to play in their ecosystem and their removal could have disastrous consequences. So PETA existed.
We were told not to eat tuna because dolphins and other animals were being caught in nets and killed side by side. Not to wear mink furs because the process of skinning was inhumane, all of that jazz. And it was good, we learned it in school, we started the petitions and raised a few donations of a couple of hundred dollars and god damn it we believed that if every other class did the same thing we might make a difference.
So what the hell happened PETA? Was the war too big for you? Did those Whale Wars and Cove guys come in like the hot new girl in class and make you part of the unpopular crowd?
What made you descend into this vegan nonsense that even Buddhists can make fun of?
Wild animals are still getting slaughtered, that hasn’t changed. Elephants are starting to evolve away from using tusks. People are still donating to causes. David Attenborough commented on how donating in first world nations is still viable during the Planet Earth TV series.
Or was it that you realized animal hunting is less a disease and more a symptom?
The big problem experts argue is what happens in third world nations where rasing farm reared animals (Fuck this free range shit. That’s just crap.) are difficult to maintain. They have to hunt and feed on resources in the wild. Yes you have first world nations that benefit from killing wild animals too but that’s why it’s being argued.
But there’s the paradox isn’t there PETA? Hell it’s goddamn majestic to live off the land and be one with nature. But kill a farm reared animal with zero ties to the environment and even less impact on the ecosystem that’s fucking sick right? But a Russian native kills a near-extinct snow leopard because its pelt is insanely warm and helps him stave off hypothermia, how do you argue that?
But no, mink coats are bad.
Penn &Teller: Bullshit did an episode on the arguments surrounding modern food raising methods and I encourage you to watch it since they do way more research then I do.
But the problem is PETA’s gone a long way to making the first world feel guilty. In Toronto I see a lot of ads to go vegan. And it came up in discussion with my friends until finally the dumbest question in the world was asked. You know the one; the one question someone asks because they think asking it makes them smart.
“Well, really, what separates a cat from a pig?”
To which I replied without hesitation. “Because the cat isn’t full of delicious bacon!”
And that’s what it comes down to. The pig is probably more delicious then cat (never tried) that’s why we eat it. That’s why it’s easy to find it. Probably a long time ago our ancestors looked at the biggest animals and asked a question, “Which one will feed my family more?” Rock and roll! Then a bit later on a lot of men who cooked meat asked “Which animal that feeds me tastes best?” And thus the art of cooking was born. And that’s why we farm animals. That’s all there is to it.
Now don’t get me wrong, if I’m friends with a vegan or vegetarian, I’m not going to give them a hard time. I won’t know if it’s diet or personal belief that brought them to that decision and I won’t ask. It’d be rude and awkward.
But you start preaching the stupid where I can see it then boy howdy am I going to respond.
But we don’t need to feel guilty for eating meat. It’s insane! We have enough shit to feel bad about in our world, why do we need to be lectured on what we need to eat? We need to eat period! Don’t bitch us out for it!
And PETA I don’t know why you chose to take a shot at Nintendo, maybe you were trying to be relevant, maybe you really thought you’d raise awareness to a real problem, that of the rural hunting of the Tanuki, or maybe you are just full of very crazy stupid people.
I don’t know and I never will because I’ll never meet any of you.
And so too does this work exist.